Shower Brainstorms

I don’t know if any of you go on Reddit but if you don’t, you should. It is a goldmine of funny stories, amazing scenery, celebrity ask me anything’s and everything in between. Two of my top picks for subreddits are the TIFU (Today I Fucked Up) and Shower Thoughts sections. Today I’ve been hovering around the Shower Thoughts subreddit and thought I’d pick some out to share. I asked my pal Darren for his, often unique, insights on the three I picked out.

I wonder what cars think in the car wash.

Jack – a stroke of genius. I love the idea of the car having different personalities depending on what kind and colour car it is. I think with the water being so cold they would all let out a little squeal. Like the ice bucket challenge but soapy!

Darren – the car would probably be like “I’ll scrub that part, don’t worry about it, just get the parts I can’t reach.”

Redditor comment – “Ow! Soap in my headlights! ‘No tears’ my trunk!”

Darren has a good point, like a T-Rex trying to scratch it’s knee, those tyres aren’t going to be any good for reaching those tricky spots. Maybe they could work together, car and dinosaur in unison, it’d be quite a sight and I’m sure it’d rack up a tonne of YouTube hits. The way I see the car is the headlights would be like goggles and the bulbs the eyes but if those bubbles get in there, it’s game over. Unless L’Oreal have a car version of this 90’s wonder below.

loreal-kids-shampoo

Botox could be considered a performance enhancing drug for poker players

Darren – I’d agree to that. It’ll be great if I had it in school when the teacher is bollocking you in front of your mates and you know if you laugh it will make it worse.

Redditor comment – relevant image from Dick Tracy.

Jack – this could genuinely be a possibility. If there are drug governing bodies for poker, they need to get this on their list of things to do asap. It would also be useful if you let a fart slip in an elevator and wanted to keep a straight face.

There are some pretty controversial comments in this thread but that image tickled me, had to give it a mention! Darren offering an insight into the mind of, what we call in Newcastle, a worky-ticket or a trouble maker. There are a few situations I can think where excessive Botox might come in handy but I’m sure NASA will have already beat me to them.

Nelson-saying-Haha

Every time I have to chase a ping-pong ball, I feel like a 3 year-old. I’m convinced there is no cool way to chase a ping-pong ball.

Redditor comment – The secret is to not chase the ping pong ball. Let it bounce itself out and settle, wherever that may be. Then, and only then, do you casually walk over and pick it up.

Cool guys don’t look back at explosions, and cool guys don’t chase things. Especially tiny, bouncy things.

Jack – My personal favourite of the day. This Redditor has hit the nail on the head. There is definitiely no way to chase a ping pong ball and keep your dignity if people catch a glimpse! If there hasn’t already been a sketch in a comedy about this, there really needs to be. I can see Peter Griffin chasing it for miles already.

Darren – It’s the same as chasing a Frisbee.

I like how we have something similar to the car in the car wash with the Redditor comment. Playing it off as if the ball is alive and going wild, David Attenborough narrating the whole ordeal. “And here we have, a wild ping pong ball losing it’s shit” Some cool guy logic at its finest here, don’t give in to the temptation to chase the ping pong ball. Darren know’s his stuff here. Dogs make it look so effortless to pluck a Frisbee out the air with a degree of decorum and grace. When we human try it looks more like a shot put face, if you haven’t heard of this phenomenon, give me a click.

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So what are you waiting for, get yourself on the front page of the internet. It’s like freshly bakes Krispy Kreme doughnuts hot out of the oven. Oh and if you clicked on all the links, I’m sorry. Your browser is probably screaming right now with all the open tabs.

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